wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Another day, another engagement, another cat
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
