Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
