Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
