New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
