Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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