I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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