Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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