So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
