my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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