That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
