I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
