I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
