If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
