Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
