I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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