I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just found puke in my bra..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
