"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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