its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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