Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Who put my cat in the fridge?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
