I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
