Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
