Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
