Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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