I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
