I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
