Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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