I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this will be a night to untag.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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