I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize