this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
