he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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