Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
