Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
