So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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