are you still at the devil's house?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
