come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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