I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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