we're blogging at a bar
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Randomize
