Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
