there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
