I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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