I wish I could punch you in the face.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize