p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
