just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so let's talk penis.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
