I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
