idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
