so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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