Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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