brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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