We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
