Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
