this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
