please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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