I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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