apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
