my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
there is glitter all over my balls
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