why didn't you poke me back
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
