we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
