I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize